Lost

I'm so LOST~~~
I was thinking of taking foundation in arts instead of monash university foundation year
Cuz if I'm going to take MUFY then I will need to take 8-10 subjects among
English
Accounting
Biology
Computer Science
Chemistry
Economics
Globalization
Mathematics
Advanced Mathematics
Physics


which I couldn't take Biology and
I think Physics and Chemistry are less useful in my future studies
As I'm going to take business related degree programme
In addition, March intake for MUFY is accelerated programme
which I found out that higher level proficiency in English and overall academic achievements are required
I have totally no confidence to say that I will pass the final exam
Yea, I admit that I'm damn weak in English subjects
plus I can't even speak real fluent and outstanding English
TEASE ME!! I won't mind
I know I'm so lousy
HATED MYSELF


So since I had changed my mind from taking MUFY to Foundation in Arts
I will have to start my college life in March
19th March
I still haven''t decide whether I'm going to travel to n fro or stay in hostel
Cuz I haven't found someone that is going to stay with me
MEG!! I'm having great hope in you
Hope you will not let me down
I know what you guys are going to think of me
If you want to find a word to describe me then it is going to be --> USELESS
Yes I'm useless
but put yourself in my condition then you will think the same too
Saying something is easier than doing it
I'm not a pretty girl
Obviously no good and gorgeous figure
Not someone popular
Not even rich
Undeniably not a genius and my English is low

I want to get new friends too
Who doesn't want to??
But I'm not a psycho or someone who can sees through future
I don't even know whether I can even mingle with people over there
I don't even think I can share same topic with them
Money, Cool cars, Pretty clothes, Expensive Shoes, Rich Family
I don't have either one of those
I don't own a car
I don't buy expensive clothes
I don't go to 5 star restaurants
I don't have rich family or boyfriend
I didn't even tried Starbucks before

I want to try to be a better person
I really tried to
I don't know how is life gonna be over there
I don't know when opportunities will come
I can't even see my future well